why'd the cow cross the road?
to get to the other side!
I was laughing so hard I cried, but apparently this is completely normal. I assume he/she made it... we, of course, didn't stick around to watch since this is not interesting or funny to anyone else around.
If you are thinking, "of course there are cows crossing the road, you are in Africa!" -- well yes, this is true.... except I am not working in some remote village down a long stretch of dusty road, I am working in Bamako, the capital city of Mali... in an office. Hence the computer and the liberty to spend time online telling jokes. So when the cow crossed the road in the center of the city, I was surprised. I was even still surprised when I saw a donkey licking the car outside the apartment and the heard of sheep the went by the office as I was leaving. And everyone else was surprised that I was surprised. and I explained, in my poor but slowly improving french, that such a thing never happens in New York. And they were surprised. I think vehicles and livestock are quite hazzerous to eachother, but that stops nobody from reconsidering the whereabouts of their cows. At least the herd of sheep had an escort.
Anyway... for this instalment I have decided to dispense a little information in case any of you should happen to get lost around this side of the world and need to know where you are.
you know you're in Mali when...
- a cow crosses the road
- you have to relearn how to go to the bathroom because the toilet is level with the floor... and there's no toilet paper, just a swirly colored teapot.
- pregnant women are climbing cliffs with bowls of milk stacked on their heads and babies tied to their backs.
- a greeting can take two minutes and sounds more like a duet poem than a hello and involves an inquiry into your family, sleep, job, etc...
- everything is covered in red dust
- 4 year-olds are taking care of their younger siblings all day
- men are sitting around and drink very strong tea out of shot glasses, and a round is three seperate brews... first: strong as death, second: mild as life, and third: sweet as love.
- you're the idiot sitting on a chair and using a fork while everyone else eats with their hand out of a bowl on the ground
- sometimes, in order to breathe you are wrapping your entire head in 4 metres of brightly colored fabric
- everything is reusable...
- the chicken that that kid was chasing around the Bozo village 45 mins ago is now on your plate (not mine, yours)
- you can have aaaaaany article of clothing custom made and everyone has a tailor... and trying to do so is one of the most fun things to do, especially with your mother.
- it is hot as hell and you feel like you should be soaked with sweat, except it's so hot it evaporates before it can soak a single hair
- plastic bags are seemingly growing out of the ground anywhere near civilization
- on the road for 4 hours you pass 2 other cars, 74 donkey carts, 47 bikes, 51 blue yamaha mo-peds, 38 plurple or blue "power k" scooters, and 17 trucks overflowing with food, coal or people... take your pick... and they are all spewing waste in one form or another.
- every other female is carrying a baby tied to her back.
- babies are duckfooted and bowlegged from spending most of the day folded in half on someones back.
- you don't have to turn off your car to fill it up at the gas station.
- you see a little kid in a random village wearing your old new kids on the block t-shirt from fifth grade.
- and if you are learning french with an african accent, you just might be in Mali.
next up..... how to attend a Malian wedding.
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